Hallo! I am Gujjubee phellow. Queenbee ben called me and had a bee-to-bee toke with me. She asked me to write the aditorial.
“Give us an aditorial,” she said.
“How much you will geeve?” I asked. We are gujju phellows and will not geeve anything if there ij no bijnej. After all, it is B2B, bijnej to bijnej, no?
“Aw, c’mon,” she said. TAKE this opportunity to write the aditorial.
This was a good bijnej proposal. Asking me to take something free of charge. Taking ij better than geeving. So I took this opportunity and here is my aditorial.
Phirst-of-ole, let us wailcome Sharbaben to beehive. She is sweet as sharbat and spicy as shorba. But in beehive, she is Sharabee and she is bringing out Fundamatics with flavours of sharbat, shorba and sharab (without excise duty).
Fundamatics has been out-of-stock for sometime now. Only leetle quantities were released in 2015. Gujjubhais are thinking that Fundamatics phellows are trying to create artificial scarcity to increase advertijement rates and share value. Other gujjubhais are thinking that paper coast is high, so Fundamatics phellows are trying to wait for doaler to come down so that newsprint import price will give better proafit when doaler reduces. Real reason is that all phellows were so busy with Global Bijnej Forum (GBF), that they were counting spoansorship value and hotail beel rather than counting words for next adition.
Many phellows have written in this adition about GBF and we weel thaink them in next adition if they bring some advertijement olso. Without advertijement, whose father will pay the beels?
Other than bijnej, Fundamatics has regular stuff. Articles, poetry, columns, humour, jocks, fiction, trivia, photos, illustrations etc. It is like Manmohan Desai and his Amar, Akbar & Antony. Song, dance, drama, rape, fights, coamedy, tragedy, You read what you want. You skeep what you want. After you finish reading, you can use it as a paperweight. When you get a new paperweight with your next adition, you can gift this coapy to your neighbour’s wife and impraise her as an erudite and scholarly phellow. Afterwards, you can borrow it back and sell to raddiwala and make enough money to buy one week’s supply of pan parag that you can share with neighbour’s wife. When there ij power cut, you can use Fudamatics pages as a paper fan. When gobar gas plants in your colony run out of manure, you can use Fundamatics copy as substitute. It has enough boolsheet to run plant for days. This is a soalid multi-purpoje investment.
If you are subscribing and reading Fundamatics, you are smart bijnej phellow who is getting good return on investment. But if you are writing for Fundamatics, you are smartest phellow who is also getting nam, fam and FB likes free of charge and you may even get a free bookshelf where you can stack Fundamatics issues.
So come one and come all and write for Fundamatics. Tastier than Pushpa Fui’s dhoklas, Sudha Kaki’s khakhras and Bhanu mami’s fafdas. (Pramila masi’s khandvi is not good, so we are not tacking her name)
To non gujjus: Give us articles. (otherwise we’ll take you bake-to-bake)
To Gujjus: TAKE this opportunity to write articles. (otherwise, we’ll geeve you buck-to-buck)
Jai B2B. (Bhavnagar to Baroda)